Joey Voboril "Personal Reflections on Relationships in College"

I find it curious why many college relationships go so wrong. There is usually a 2-3 week honeymoon period where neither one can do any wrong and its all puppy dogs and rainbows (if they make it that far), and after that maybe they have a somewhat compatible personality temperaments and a general attraction for one another that allows them to stay together. Soon, however, they will usually separate and tell friends it just didn’t work out. Now is that super vague and doesn’t apply to everyone? Of course. However, if you honestly look at the majority of college relationships, the stories/details may change but the template is really the same. First of all why is that? And second if we could figure it out then would anyone be willing to actually change the way they handle their personal relationships for a chance at success? Even if it does take work? I have adopted a philosophy from a pastor in the local area that I feel is top notch. The saying goes “know-trust-commit-rely-physical.” The idea is that both parties to get know each other first, find out if they are compatible. The second is trust, they need to be able to prove and demonstrate trust to one another. The third is commit, they need to both say “yes I commit to this relationship and my word is stronger than the strongest of bonds.” The fourth stage being rely, they need to then be able to rely on one another fully and completely and not go to other people. The last being physical. The physical one is very important because it is a very special and powerful connection between two human beings. I feel that many college students do this process in the exact opposite way. (Physical- rely- commit- trust- know). Meet each other at party and hook up or see each other on campus and let lust take over the introduction phase. Quickly they decide well this is awesome we might as well date (rely and commit) and then after a little while with the person they force themselves to trust this person, not because they’ve earned it but more because they have already been vulnerable in front of this person and because of the title they have put on themselves they don’t want to seem contradictory. Then when they start to get to know each other they realize they didn’t really want to be together and then the break up is very difficult because far too much has been invested before the timing was right. It seems like such a simple process yet one of the hardest for kids in our age demographic to obey. Just a thought.